It could be worse...

"It could be worse," said Dad on day two of our recent vacation to Turks and Caicos. I quickly responded with, "It couldn't be much better." To which he chimed back, "...but it could be worse." 

We were both right. It could have been worse...we could have been at work back in Alabama where the weather was around 40 degrees. But it really couldn't have been much better. I mean, this conversation took place here:

The most clear water and softest sand ever. 

 See what I mean? 

From the edge of the pool, overlooking a dining patio and then the beach.

This was our first vacation alone since Mr. B arrived. I missed him every day, especially when I saw the other kiddos that were staying at our resort. But let me be honest, while I missed him I was glad he wasn't there. 

We have arrived!

We slept in, enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, sat on the beach watching the turquoise water roll in, took long walks in the velvety sand, sipped on adult beverages over an extended lunch, napped by the pool, toasted ourselves at the hotel bar before venturing out for dinner, noshed on local grilled lobster, slipped on the bedroom slippers left for us by the turn down service before enjoying the chocolate placed on the bed. Repeat that for five days and you will feel like a new person. And even appreciate your opinionated and rapidly growing toddler for the amazing little human that he is. 

Beach bar at its best.

Our favorite lunch spot - The Somewhere Cafe

Most importantly, Dad and I got to spend some uninterrupted time together and make memories. I won't say that we needed it, we are lucky to have a fantastic support system of family members who actually ask to babysit so we can have date night. But it was really great to have. Whether we were talking about how life has changed in the past year, debating whether to have a pina colada or gin and tonic, or sitting in silence staring at the scenery, it was a nice reminder that we have each other and are in it together. And we are fortunate enough to really like it that way.   

The other side of the pool from the water-side bed.

The resort was beautiful at night, complete with Christmas lights!

After a trek to lunch, enjoying the walk and the company. 

Location: Turks and Caicos

Resort: The Regent Palms

Favorite Restaurants:

Somewhere Cafe & Lounge

Mr. Grouper's Restaurant

Le Bouchon

Mango Reef

Bay Bistro

Missing Mr. B

When B was eight weeks old I went back to work. I was ready to get out of the house and back to a routine. I didn't cry when we left him at daycare, but I was beyond excited to see him by the time I got home. School is great for Mr. B and the routine is good for Mom and Dad.

That being said, sometimes making it through the work day is ridiculously difficult knowing B is doing important things without me. Teething, crawling, eating, napping, babbling, and walking attempts are the most essential things in life at the moment. While I am at work attempting to be a productive member of the team, I keep reminders of B everywhere.

In front of me.

Above me.

To the left.

Behind me.

On the go.

These pictures help throughout the day because I remember the exact moment all of them were taken. I feel happy to have such special memories and beautiful images, but am also a little sad that I can't squeeze B at this exact moment. 

I won't lie and tell you I miss him every moment...sometimes mom needs a break, whether it is work or a solo trip to the grocery store. I know that I enjoy working because it helps me to fully enjoy the time I have with B. I only occasionally envy my stay-at-home-mom friends, ya know, once or twice a weekday and every other hour on Sundays. 

The Rise of Super Dad

I was raised by two wonderful, hands-on, loving parents. My mom stayed at home after my younger sister was born while my dad worked hard to support the family. My dad changed diapers, got up in the middle of the night, and held us at dinner so my mom could enjoy her meal. My dad went to swim meets, piano recitals, dance recitals, gymnastics meets and everything in between. This is what I was used to and this is what I expected from Adam (now Dad). 

What I didn't expect was the unique dynamic that comes with a new baby. The past year has been a process that has changed our lives and relationship more than I imagined. For me, becoming a mother happened instantly. The second I saw B lying on my chest, looking all squishy and gross, I knew what I needed to do. When I didn't know what to do, I moved forward acting like I did. This is just kind of how I do most things in life...personally and professionally. 

About an hour after B's arrival. 

I feel like for men things happen differently. The foreign object that was just removed from the body of their significant other is now screaming and flailing attempting to comprehend the sensory overload that has just taken place. Nurses are scurrying about tending to Mom and Baby while Dad is left trying to get a glimpse of the new life he helped create. What ensues in the following months is difficult to describe and, I would imagine, differs wildly from one father to the next. 

Perfecting the football hold. 

Look at that sweet face.

 Our journey into parenthood has had its ups and downs. But the one thing I never doubted was Dad's ability. Three months after B was born, I had to travel to L.A. for work. Dad handled B just fine, despite his own nerves. Most every morning, we pack up B and Dad gets him to daycare. Most every night, Dad washes and prepares B's bottles for the next day, after he washes our dishes from dinner; he then cleans the entire kitchen and picks up the toys strewn throughout the house. 

Closely supervising tummy time.

This weekend I attended my sister's bachelorette party. Dad and B had a boys weekend - dinner with Grandpa Friday night, Dad got to golf with friends on Saturday thanks to my brave girl friends who managed three babies, B and Dad washed up then headed to a dinner with friends on Saturday night, then brunch on Sunday before I got home. 

The Super Dads and their boys before golf.

By the time I got home, B and Dad were waiting and everyone was happy. Dad didn't seem frazzled, there were no weekend mishaps, and we enjoyed a nice evening and early bed time. 

I don't want to provide a false sense of ease...life is not always easy. We have had our ups and downs as parents, but we have grown, adapted and overcome. Dad is amazing; he has the desire and ability to make B a happy, well-adjusted child. More importantly, Dad has the desire and ability to make me the happiest Mom and wife. 

Let's be honest, Dad is MUCH funnier than Mom.

Cheers to all the Super Dads who change diapers in the car because there is no changing table, who eat cold food because the baby decided the high chair was no longer comfy, and who strap on the diaper bag and sport that burp cloth. But let's not forget the private times when you let us cry on your shoulder, bring us a glass of wine in the bath, and remove our hair from the fist of a handsy infant. 

Routine Adapting

ADAPT: Make something suitable for a new use or purpose; modify. 

Become adjusted to new conditions.

I used to think of myself as an easy, breezy, go-with-the-flow sort of person. Working at an ad agency makes you that way; nothing about my daily work life is predictable, other than the fact that shit will hit the fan.

But in real life, with a baby in tow, I need to know when things are going to happen so I can figure out feedings, naps, diapers, quiet time, germs and the ultimate unknowns.

B learning to eat real food.

For the most part, Monday thru Friday are fairly predictable. We have a routine and it works, until someone gets sick, or needs to be at work early, daycare is delayed due to weather, spring break and daycare is closed, we oversleep, etc. etc. 

Meeting his new bathtub for the first time.

Lately there is no such thing as routine; life is hectic. I realized this week I was sort of holding my breath waiting for the routine to kick back in. Not...gonna...happen. 

So my adapted routine will be to plan what we can. Being able to adapt to our surroundings is a skill we need; it makes us better employees, spouses, friends, and parents. I hope this is something we can teach B as we get better at it ourselves. Right now he is teaching us a few lessons on adaptability because for him everything is the unknown.

Never to meet a stranger, B chats up the car salesman.

This kid can sleep anywhere, but my favorite naps are when he is in my arms.