There's a boat in the camera!

Recently we had some family photos taken. It was long overdue, considering the last photos we had done professionally were in May 2014 and didn't include Dad! So we enlisted an old friend, Meredith Carroll, to get some family of three (plus) shots. We had about an hour and decided on a natural setting at Ross Bridge. Per usual, I was anxious about these pictures weeks in advance...

What will I wear? What should B wear? Should we match, coordinate or just see what happens? What if I don't sleep well the night before and look puffy? What if B doesn't behave and we don't get any good shots of him? Is the time frame OK? Should he nap before or after? Should we eat before or after? We all need haircuts immediately. Do I even remember how to put on real make-up? 

Normal concerns; they all seem valid. Luckily, my MIL is a mind-reader and found something for B to wear (for these AND Santa pictures). She is a saint and we are so thankful for her initiative when it comes to things for B, our house, and just life in general! 

B learned the word "reindeer" that day. 

The week of, I made it to the Swanky Stork to pick something out for myself. I quickly found two things that I couldn't part with, so I was set. Now it was time for Dad to select his attire. He went through several rounds of options before finding something just perfectly "Fall" that coordinated.

Coordinating greens throughout, subtle but effective.

Whew! Now it was all down to the day. We got an early start to the morning, thanks to B, but ended up rushing out the door - how does that happen?!? B slept in the car and woke up when we arrived, not in a great mood, but he perked up with some gummy snacks. So we were off. It took Mom and Dad some time to warm up for the camera and focus. Meredith instructed us not to look at B and try to make him smile, but to look at the camera and focus on smiling ourselves! Great advice. This is why half of our every day pictures turn out with one of us looking drunk and the other talking. To get B to smile and focus, you have to get creative. 

Show me your teeth! Cheeeeeeeeessse! Look here at the camera! Do you see yourself in the camera? If you look at the camera you will see a boat! There is a boat in the camera! Do you want some crackers? Give us one more smile and you can have some crackers! See how Dad is smiling, smile like Dad! 

It was exhausting. But Meredith assured me by the end we had some good shots. And she was right!

The framers... 

"There's no boat in that camera, but I'll grin anyway."

Just like Dad.

B loves his boots.

We love our sweet B.

And the outtakes...

B is five, Dad is asleep and Mom looks like she hasn't slept in days.

What happens after an hour and you say "Cheeeeeeeese" for the 400th time.

"Kiss Mommy!" or eat her face...

Mid "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"

"No, I will not hug baby Wyatt" - B
"Please get your hand out of my crotch" - Mom

Mom and B's Day of Fun

Recently, I took off work for Columbus Day because the daycare was closed. Not a problem, right? A day off work should be welcomed! To be honest, I wasn't super excited. Being a working mom keeps me sane and smitten with my adorable child. Not to mention, Columbus Day was a Monday and Dad had been out of town that weekend. So really, we had almost three full days together.

Over the weekend, we had been to Let's Play Birmingham (BIG HIT) and spent the evening playing with soon-to-be-because-we-said-so BFF, W. So that was for him, but that morning we had been to Target, the farmer's market, and picked up around the house. Not fun for a toddler.

The ball pit was a hit for W and B.

Aunt Mantha also enjoyed the toddler area!

Shot of the toddler maze at Let's Play. Aunt Mantha mastered it all!

By the time Monday rolled around, I was a little tired. When I decided to take the day off I committed (myself) to doing nothing but activities that B would enjoy; hence, "Mom and B's Day of Fun." 

We loaded up early and headed to the McWane Center. We were the third people in line, got our tickets, and set out to the exhibits. We quickly breezed through the main floor because there were mainly older kid activities. Then we got to the main event - Itty Bitty Magic City. The look on B's face was similar to mine when I find out my mother-in-law is cooking Italian food for Sunday dinner - HELL, YEAH.

There were trains, a firetruck, a water play area, house setup, mini grocery store and diner, vet's clinic, car workshop and jungle-gym thing I can't really explain. He spent about two hours exploring and LOVED the trains. I knew we were broaching the "too tired to leave peacefully" so I bribed him with the promise of a cookie. We left around 11:45 am and walked to Edgar's Bakery downtown. He noshed on goldfish and a peanut butter and honey sandwich in the stroller. Once at Edgars, he got a M&M cookie and I got a cappuccino and enjoyed them on the terrace overlooking 20th street to watch the trolleys, buses and busy people. B promptly fell asleep on the walk back to the car, slept the entire way home and for another hour once we got home. Just enough time for me to enjoy a lunch at home with Dad.

Huge train set.

Driving the spaceship!

And the firetruck. When the front seat opened up, he was all over it!

Putting his tray in the oven.

The oven mitt! He watches mom cook a lot.

After nap time we packed up again and headed to the park. Trussville has great play space in the "downtown" area. There is a large mall with tennis courts, a community pool, and two good parks. Aunt Shell met us there. B snacked on pistachios and ran Aunt Shell ragged. Mom was already tired...and a little pregnant!

Loving the swing!

Does this whale go any faster?

The horse doesn't move quickly either...

After the park we headed home for dinner with Dad. B was in a great mood and the day was fun! Why wouldn't he be? I wasn't trying to direct him all day. While at home we have rules and chores - laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. If I had tried to actually work from home it would have been a nightmare and, honestly, consisted of lots of cartoons.

And I enjoyed the day seeing him try new things and experience activities that are on his level. I was impressed by his focus and curiosity at the McWane Center. He was able to navigate the new situation and really learn from his surroundings. And it confirms that our sweet baby is getting so big and changing every day. 

Now...back to work for some down time. Need to rest up for the holidays and baby #2!

Could've bought a pumpkin at Publix...

...but you really don't get the experience! And how weird does it look trying to position your unwilling child in the pumpkins next to the produce and floral section?

This weekend we ventured to the Old Baker Farm annual Pumpkin Patch in Harpersville, AL. I did a BAD job of prepping Dad about our visit. He was confused as to why we drove nearly an hour to what he was picturing as a field of pumpkins. Little did he know it was SO much more...involved and costly.

Why did Barrett have a collared shirt and jeans on? Photos. Why was Mom dressed in jeans, boots and something other than a t-shirt with make-up on and hair done? Photos. Why are we driving to Harpersville, to the middle of nowhere, to get a pumpkin when we have three on the front porch? Photos.

Lots of photos.

We met some of our BFF's at the pumpkin patch, with their TWO kids, the youngest of which is just a month old. We decided during our trip, the whole experience warranted a blog post with a list of tips. 

Photos with pumpkins, in a vintage truck with sunflowers and cotton.

So here are some things to remember when visiting the pumpkin patch:

Take a wagon or stroller. The ground is not level so a jogger or wagon would probably be best. For your convenience, there is stroller parking right before the hayride. And beware the stroller jam that can occur when people have exited the hayride.

It's dirty and dusty and potentially muddy. Wear boots or shoes you aren't concerned with getting too dirty. It is a farm, after all.

Bring a camera! Photo ops everywhere. It's presh. There were people who didn't have children out there in fringe booties and sweater dresses lighting instagram and snapchat on FIRE. #pumpkinpatchselfie #whyareyouhere

Don't try to carry a toddler or baby AND a pumpkin. It ends badly for the pumpkin, and then you have to start over. This is not what you want; you worked hard for that damn pumpkin and the tractor for the hayride is pulling up...just grab whatever is closest as a replacement and call it a day.

Or just let the kid carry the pumpkin! W trying his best.

Baby wearing is a definite must if you have one small enough for a sling, backpack or other carrier. Having two arms is a huge convenience for hoisting yourself onto the back of a trailer that is covered in hay and picking pumpkins and chasing other children and avoiding pumpkin vines.

Baby wearing Exhibit A. Popcorn can also be seen in this exhibit, as well as family-of-four preciousness.

The popcorn was a lifesaver while waiting in line for the hayride and getting back to the car. We happened to visit on the fall festival weekend so there were vendors selling everything from food to crafts. Popcorn is the perfect, occupying snack for kiddo and Dad. Otherwise, bring your own snacks.

Cash or check ONLY. It was $10 for everyone two and above which includes a pumpkin. FYI - B turns two in November if anyone asks.

This should be an ad for cotton or toddler clothes.

Photo op in front of the old house. We started a trend, people were lining up after us.

So head out to the pumpkin patch as a lovely fall activity! Besides, it's Decorative Gourd Season, motherf*$&#@s. 

*If you haven't read the article at this link, PLEASE do it pronto.

Take Them Food: Restaurants to Try

Here in the South we like to take people food. New neighbors get baked goods, new moms get entire dinners. It's awesome. People come see the baby, hold the baby, and bring you food. Then they leave...and you can stuff your exhausted face in your bathrobe while breastfeeding. I can't wait!

I will say the etiquette is different depending on the family. When some of our BFF's had their first child, we brought them dinner and we stayed to eat with them. But most of the time it's an early evening food drop with limited baby viewing. You rub yourself down with sanitizer and coo away.

Restaurants in Birmingham have gotten wise to the idea that people not only take meals to others, but sometimes just need a good dinner to pick up and serve to the family - no cooking involved. I have done some research recently because of new babies in the family and thought I would share a list of options. I know there are more, but this was what I came up with pretty quickly.

Ready to Eat -

• Urban Cookhouse - Crestline, Summit, Homewood. Pick up meals after 3 pm.
• Maki Fresh - Rice bowls for four, definitely unique. I haven't had the chance to try this one yet.
• Taziki's - Many locations! Pick up after 2 pm.
• Zoe's - Multiple locations, two different serving size options.
• Costa's Mediterranean - Trussville and Hoover. They have all sorts of options for 2 or 4 person meals. You can also get their baked pastas uncooked and ready for the freezer!
• Little Donkey - Homewood. I could only find the info on the "taco packs" under the online take-out ordering. Four options with sides. Another one I haven't tried, but their tacos are damn good. Now if we could just get to-go cocktails...
• Taco Mama - Crestline Village. One option that feeds 4 hungry people!
• Iz Cafe - Hoover (Rocky Ridge) and English Village. They have a monthly menu of take home meals available Tuesday thru Thursday.
• Jim 'N Nicks - Many locations! And you get the option of buns or cheese biscuits...cheese biscuits, every. time. please. thank you.

Cook at Home (or freeze for later)

• Ashley Mac's - Cahaba Heights, Inverness, Riverchase."Gourmet To Go" casseroles and prepared foods (appetizers, desserts, salads, etc). Definitely get dessert and pick up a dozen sour cream biscuits for you and the lucky recipient. They just melt in your mouth!
• Homewood Gourmet - Homewood. Rave reviews from everyone who has received one of these bake-at-home gems. Don't forget the gigantic cookies and/or brownies. Remember...bathrobe eating is better done with dessert in-hand.
• Dishn' It Out - Crestline (next to Saw's Juke Joint). Extensive selection! I often peer through the windows at their freezer collection while waiting to eat at Saw's.
• What's 4 Supper by Edgewood Catering - Homewood. I haven't tried this place yet, but they put out a weekly menu that looks great. They offer frozen and freshly cooked.

*Most of these places do have prepared foods (chicken salad, pimento cheese, etc) but they specifically offer a "Meal for 4" or "Family Dinner" option that is all ready to eat when you walk in the door.

Just Keep Moving

Grief is a funny thing. Not "funny, HAHA" but more like "WTF was that."

You always hear that everyone grieves in their own way and in stages. But what we don't talk a lot about is the fact that each and every moment of the day can be different. You can be bopping along and then all of the sudden - WHAM - sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, etc. take over. Sometimes it takes just another moment to regain composure, while other times it takes days to recover...for things to seem "normal" again. The triggers are all different and unexpected. Smells, sound, music, a person's laugh, a happy memory, a difficult time, a fun experience, or just the same mundane drive to work.

I had hoped the randomness of the grief I experience around my mom's death would subside as time passed. Daily life has gotten easier, but the emotional washes still arise. Having a full schedule - husband, toddler, work - keep me going because "I've got to, MISTER!" (Skip to 1:38 in video clip below for reference)

There is no stopping for an hour to have a mental breakdown, and I thought of this as a good thing for me. Then I realized about six months after my mom passed away that this might not be healthy because my grief started to erupt more frequently and manifest in varying ways. 

Acknowledging the grief in those moments has helped me deal with it and keep moving. Not move past it or move on, but just keep moving. 

I occasionally read random articles...OK that's a stretch, I read random articles every day. A few days ago I found one that was of particular interest to me - 20 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About Grief. All of these are true for me and I do wish I knew them before; not that it would have helped that much. Just reading them made me feel better. Here are a few I found poignant:

1. We don't actually get over losses. We absorb them, and they redirect us into a more grounded way of living. 

5. There isn’t always a spiritual aha moment or a reason. Sometimes, it just is what it is. 

7. Anger is normal. Feel it. Embrace it. Allow it to work through you. ::Big one for me. This was an emotion I didn't expect::

12. There is no such thing as normal when it comes to grieving. Be patient and kind to yourself. 

14. You will never go back to being your “old” self.

**NOTE: The writer of the article lost her childhood dog before writing this piece. That made me giggle.

Right on track

This past weekend was a nice mix of quiet time, productive activities, friends and family. Friday night Dad and I made pizza and hung with B - who is cutting teeth and didn't nap all day...it was a touch-and-go evening. Saturday we cleaned out the master closet in preparation to put our house on the market then went to a surprise anniversary party for one of our best friend's parents. Sunday I packed for my 10 day trip to LA and my dad, sister and brother-in-law came over to watch football.

While at dinner Saturday night I was chatting with a BFF about her New Year's resolutions. On that list was the resolution to stop comparing her 10-month-old son to other children and not obsessing over his developmental progression.

Technologically advanced?

We have all been there. From the moment they are born you wait for the first poop, wet diaper, smile, laugh, etc. You read the development books, download the accompanying apps, consult with your pediatrician, ask your parents for reference and interrogate friends with babies remotely comparable in age. And then there is social media...

We had several walkers that really helped him learn to walk.

It's hard not to focus all your attention on this with the research indicating that 1 in 200 children are autistic...or wait, is it 1 in 90 now?! I can't keep up. And I did and do all of this. It took me a while to realize that the precious creature I birthed is fine and, honestly, not particularly exceptional. 

He sat up by himself at around 7 months, crawled a little after 9 months, walked about two weeks after his first birthday. I cannot understand a single thing he says besides Mama and Dada. He prefers french fries, chicken fingers and fish sticks to grilled chicken, veggies and fruits. He has an attitude, he has hit me in the face (and laughed), he likes to throw things and whines incessantly if he doesn't get his way.

Sometimes the pacifier and blanket have to brought out before nap/bed time.

Now for the typical mommy-blogger wrap up...I love him, can't imagine life without him, and he has changed my world for the better. DUH, he is my child. I carried him for 37 weeks, bore him without the help of drugs, milked myself like a cow for his nutritional benefit and think about him at every waking moment.

Just loading up the spoon with oatmeal.

And he is normal and I couldn't ask for more. So like my friend I am going to make an effort to relax and let him progress at his own pace. We will see how I do when he brings home his first report card, starts playing sports, or takes up a musical instrument.

Or forget the spoon, the oatmeal tastes better on my fingers!

The Rise of Super Dad

I was raised by two wonderful, hands-on, loving parents. My mom stayed at home after my younger sister was born while my dad worked hard to support the family. My dad changed diapers, got up in the middle of the night, and held us at dinner so my mom could enjoy her meal. My dad went to swim meets, piano recitals, dance recitals, gymnastics meets and everything in between. This is what I was used to and this is what I expected from Adam (now Dad). 

What I didn't expect was the unique dynamic that comes with a new baby. The past year has been a process that has changed our lives and relationship more than I imagined. For me, becoming a mother happened instantly. The second I saw B lying on my chest, looking all squishy and gross, I knew what I needed to do. When I didn't know what to do, I moved forward acting like I did. This is just kind of how I do most things in life...personally and professionally. 

About an hour after B's arrival. 

I feel like for men things happen differently. The foreign object that was just removed from the body of their significant other is now screaming and flailing attempting to comprehend the sensory overload that has just taken place. Nurses are scurrying about tending to Mom and Baby while Dad is left trying to get a glimpse of the new life he helped create. What ensues in the following months is difficult to describe and, I would imagine, differs wildly from one father to the next. 

Perfecting the football hold. 

Look at that sweet face.

 Our journey into parenthood has had its ups and downs. But the one thing I never doubted was Dad's ability. Three months after B was born, I had to travel to L.A. for work. Dad handled B just fine, despite his own nerves. Most every morning, we pack up B and Dad gets him to daycare. Most every night, Dad washes and prepares B's bottles for the next day, after he washes our dishes from dinner; he then cleans the entire kitchen and picks up the toys strewn throughout the house. 

Closely supervising tummy time.

This weekend I attended my sister's bachelorette party. Dad and B had a boys weekend - dinner with Grandpa Friday night, Dad got to golf with friends on Saturday thanks to my brave girl friends who managed three babies, B and Dad washed up then headed to a dinner with friends on Saturday night, then brunch on Sunday before I got home. 

The Super Dads and their boys before golf.

By the time I got home, B and Dad were waiting and everyone was happy. Dad didn't seem frazzled, there were no weekend mishaps, and we enjoyed a nice evening and early bed time. 

I don't want to provide a false sense of ease...life is not always easy. We have had our ups and downs as parents, but we have grown, adapted and overcome. Dad is amazing; he has the desire and ability to make B a happy, well-adjusted child. More importantly, Dad has the desire and ability to make me the happiest Mom and wife. 

Let's be honest, Dad is MUCH funnier than Mom.

Cheers to all the Super Dads who change diapers in the car because there is no changing table, who eat cold food because the baby decided the high chair was no longer comfy, and who strap on the diaper bag and sport that burp cloth. But let's not forget the private times when you let us cry on your shoulder, bring us a glass of wine in the bath, and remove our hair from the fist of a handsy infant. 

The Photoshoot

Recently, I began stalking a local photographer. The lighting, editing and composition of her photos are beautiful. It doesn't hurt that her little boy resembles our sweet B. When I saw Sunny Jones was offering Mommy and Me mini-sessions the weekend of Mother's Day, I jumped at the chance! 

After I booked I was immediately nervous about the time frame - only 30 minutes - and our attire. Here come the rolling questions:

Will B be in a good mood? Was a noon start time the most preferable time? Will he get a good nap that morning? Would he need a bottle before or after? What if he gets sick in the next two weeks? What if he falls and scratches his face? What would he wear? What should I wear? Will 30 minutes really be enough time? What if he freaks out and refuses to smile?

The morning of was typical for me...wait until the last minute and rush out of the door, only to go back in to the house to grab the four things I forgot while Dad and B wait impatiently in the car. Luckily, B took a bottle and napped in the car. We arrived just in time for our noon session. 

Then the magic happened...

I put him on the pallet in Sunny's studio and he started smiling and posing like he was made for this. 

I'm sorry...is this the same kid that produced these little gems from a previous monthly shoot at home.

Let us not forget these other quality photos that will make it in his wedding slideshow. But the cuteness doesn't stop here...

Those eyes...that pose...he was adorable on set but these photos are amazing! 

The book adds the perfect touch of reality; DUH, this is how we read books at home. Oh and let me know if you have a contact at Luvs Diapers. They are welcome to pay me royalties on the following pictures...

It's safe to say, the next time you visit our house, it will be disgustingly overwrought with pictures of our beautiful baby boy. 

A huge THANK YOU to Sunny for capturing these images. I can't help but smile, giggle a little, and shed a tear when I look at them.